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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660350">The strength of deceival</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_certain_kind_of_dread/pseuds/a_certain_kind_of_dread'>a_certain_kind_of_dread</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Norse Religion &amp; Lore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Crossdressing, How Do I Tag, Retelling, thor is an angry bean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:56:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_certain_kind_of_dread/pseuds/a_certain_kind_of_dread</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for a challenge on an amino, and I figured it's too fun not to post</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The strength of deceival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for a challenge on an amino, and I figured it's too fun not to post</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The heated conversation had come to a halt so suddenly that the silence seemed to create a vacuum and stop any other noise from spreading. Not even the rustling of clothes was heard, and not a single god had a response to the words that left Heimdalls mouth. It seemed like hours before Thors voice finally broke the spell that the idea seemed to cast.<br/>“Are you fucking kidding me?”<br/>“What? Not many of us can lift the hammer, and even if we could, it’s your hammer so you should be the one to retrieve it. As soon as you see it, grab it and we’re safe.”<br/>Thor couldn’t believe Heimdall had the audacity to defend his idea.<br/>“He has a point. Besides, your hair would look great when it’s properly done for a change.”<br/>Thor could feel the anger in his chest as all the gods looked at him bemused. He took a deep breath, and tried to keep the shaking of his voice to a minimum.<br/>“I am not dressing up in a dress to pretend I am Freyja and get the hammer back.”</p><p> </p><p>Thor was sulking with crossed arms and a long, white wedding dress on. Two cats pulled the chariot happily towards Jotunheim as Loki attempted to stifle his laughter.<br/>“Freyja was right. You should do your hair more often.”<br/>“Listen as soon as I get my hammer into my hands, by Odin you are the first one I’m killing.”<br/>“But how will you have a wedding without your maid of honor?”<br/>“Loki I will break your fucking ne-“<br/>“We arrived!”<br/>The tall building towered over them, and Loki landed the chariot in front of it. He fixed his hair slightly before stepping off and offering a hand to Thor. Latter slapped it away and left the chariot as manly as possible. Loki lifted his hand to knock, but quickly stopped himself to turn to Thor. He took the veil, and lifted it over his head so it hides Thors face.<br/>“It brings Unglück to see the brides face before the wedding.”<br/>“Loki shut the fuck up.”<br/>The trickster god turned with a smile to the door and knocked three times. A few seconds passed before it opened. Thrym was standing before them, enormous and smug. He grinned when he saw Loki and what would be the giants future bride.<br/>“I see the Æsir accepted my offer. A wise choice. Please, enter, I have prepared a feast and a celebration.”<br/>The two gods entered gracefully and accepted their seat at the table. Loki glanced at Thor several times, and latter seemed to get more furious each time. Thrym sat down to Thors right, and beamed proudly. He started listing off tales of greatness and strength, and the other giants present listened in awe. <br/>“And now, I am blessed by the fortune of marrying none other than the goddess of love.”<br/>The giants whispered to one another, and one cleared his throat.<br/>“May we see her beautiful face?”<br/>Thor tensed up, and Loki quickly took over the conversation.<br/>“Absolutely not! It brings foul fate to see the bride before the special moment! I insist on keeping her face hidden, for we want not risk any anger of the destinies! Besides, once Freyja is Thryms wife, will you not see her beauty every day as they are together?”<br/>The giants were skeptical, but some nodded to themselves and accepted their explanation. Thrym seemed unconvinced, but sighed.<br/>“As long as it makes you happy, oh beautiful one.”<br/>Thor grimaced at the giants attempt of poetic romance. He dreaded having to listen to his voice any longer, and the tales he was forced to accept as truth were outrageous. Some of them were truth, admittedly, but many were false and blatant lies. A feast was served, and Thor angrily started eating. Loki did so as well, but when he saw three empty plates in front of Thor he nearly choked.<br/>“Dear Freyja… how come you can eat.. so.. much?”<br/>Shit. Loki saw that Thor only continued eating angrily and cursed. <br/>“Well, see dear Thrym, she is very nervous. For two days and two nights she could not get a single bite down. The lovely smells must have awakened her appetite, for she was surely starving!”<br/>Thrym looked surprised, but then chuckled. <br/>“I did not think my bride would be this excited. Well, I should consider myself lucky.”<br/>Thor grabbed a huge mug, and proceeded to down every last drop of mead in it. Lokis face fell flat, and he was convinced now that Thor did all of this to spite him. The god took a deep breath, and grabbed a gulp of mead himself. He looked towards the giant again, and saw him stare blankly as Thor grabbed a second mug.<br/>“See, the bride needs to relax a little bit. And we know that mead certainly helps with it.”<br/>“But she…”<br/>“The Æsir are quite a vigorous folk. It takes more than you think to loosen up.”<br/>Thrym still seemed skeptical, and stared at Thor with an open mouth. Loki leaned in a little.<br/>“Besides, you wouldn’t mind a bride a little tipsy, would you?”<br/>He wanted to throw up by his words, and when Thrym turned away with a grin he wanted to rip his guts out. A loud crack was heard, and the glass Thor held was shattered, with a few pieces still in his hand. Loki quickly slapped Thors hand so that all the glass dropped to the table.<br/>“How did she break it?!”<br/>“No no, it fell from her hand. She is shaking with excitement don’t you see!”<br/>Thor was indeed shaking.<br/>But it was not excitement.<br/>The giant coughed a little, before turning back with an idea.<br/>“Would the bride like to perhaps see the fruit o my latest tale? Thors hammer?”<br/>Loki grabbed Thors shoulder and made sure that latter doesn’t jump up immediately.<br/>“Yes!”<br/>Thrym blinked at the gruff and deep voice that left his brides mouth. Thor quickly realized his mistake and started coughing.<br/>“I apologize, mead makes my throat a little hoarse.”<br/>Loki tried his best not to bury his face in his hands at Thors awful, awful impression of a female voice. Thrym didn’t say anything, but quickly left. <br/>“What the fuck are you doing?!”<br/>“I am trying to seem feminine.”<br/>“You fucking downed four giant sized mugs of mead!”<br/>“I drink or I kill.”<br/>The feverish and whispered argument between Thor and Loki stopped abruptly when Thrym came back, hammer in hand. Thor sat up straight in his chair, and looked intently at the hammer.<br/>“See? Isn’t it majestic?”<br/>Thor cleared his throat. <br/>“Oh it is gorgeous. May I please take it in my hand?”<br/>“But why? You could not carry it. You are too weak.”<br/>Thor growled and Loki pretended to choke on his mead and started coughing to conceal the noise.<br/>“May I touch it at least?”<br/>“But why?”<br/>Thrym furrowed his eyebrows, and held the hammer high.<br/>“Oh but it is so beautiful, and I want to see if it really is as difficult to hold as the legends say. Then I would truly now how.. strong you are.”<br/>Loki grabbed another mug of mead and prayed that he would be killed right in this moment. Thrym seemed to think about it, and reluctantly put the hammer on the table. <br/>Loki continued drinking his mead as screams and lightning thundered around him, and Thor proceeded to get his vengeance on every single giant in the hall. The trickster god sighed deeply when a giants hand fell into his mug. <br/>“It was good mead…”<br/>Thor stopped after all of them were dead and mutilated, breathing heavily as he shook with anger. Loki did a theatrical gasp.<br/>“My! Your bosom is exposed!”<br/>Thor blinked in confusion, and noticed the dress had slipped down and to his waist. He rolled his eyes and pulled the dress back up.<br/>“Just shut the hell up and fly us back.”<br/>“As you wish, my bride.”<br/>“Loki I will smite you.”</p><p> </p><p>Thor was sitting in his room, dress on and bloody, hammer in hand, and fury in his eyes. Loki was away to explain to everyone what happened, and Thor wished not to leave his room for a century. A gentle knock was heard.<br/>“Yes.”<br/>Freyja entered, and grimaced when she saw the state of the dress.<br/>“I wanted to check on you, and thank you for returning my chariot.”<br/>Thor nodded quickly. Freyja stood in the room for a while, and waited for any further reaction. When she didn’t get one, she decided to poke around. <br/>“Too bad the dress is ruined, it fit you so well…”<br/>Thor growled, and Freyja turned away giggling.<br/>“I’m sorry. I’ll leave now.”<br/>Just before she closed the door she could hear him calling her. She opened it a little, and looked at the god with a curious glance. He stared at the floor intently, and cleared his throat.<br/>“I said, would you do my hair again sometimes?”<br/>The goddess smiled.<br/>“Of course. It suits you.”<br/>She closed the door, and left.</p><p> </p><p>“See? I told you it looks good on you.”<br/>“Loki you have one second to flee before I strangle you with my bare hands.”<br/>“Why don’t you use your veil?”<br/>“LOKI YOU GARGAN, YOU BEISKALDI! EIN SPADI FOR QVOKI NE SKEIFR DRPR MUNNI NE SVINHQFDI!”</p>
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